Parenting isn’t just about teaching kids how to handle life—it’s about showing them, too. Dr. Becky Kennedy, speaking with Andrew Huberman, offers a truth that can feel both liberating and daunting: your emotional well-being is the bedrock of healthy relationships with your kids.

Self-Care: The Non-Negotiable

Self-care doesn’t mean spa days and escape plans (though those are nice when you can swing them). It’s about listening to yourself. What do you need to feel grounded? Maybe it’s a moment of quiet, leaning on a friend, or learning how to respond differently when stress hits. When you take care of your own needs, you’re less likely to lean on your kids to fill emotional gaps they shouldn’t have to carry.

Think about it—what message does it send if your child feels responsible for your mood? Kids aren’t built for that. They need parents who can show them it’s okay to struggle, process emotions, and come out the other side stronger.

“Right to Notice”: Listening to What Kids See

Kids are like emotional radars. They sense when something’s off, even when you don’t say it out loud. If you brush off their observations—“I’m fine, don’t worry about it”—you might leave them confused or anxious, trying to fill in the blanks on their own.

Instead, Dr. Kennedy suggests validating what they notice. If your child says, “You seem sad,” you might reply, “You’re right, I’m feeling a little off today, but I can handle it. Thanks for noticing.” These conversations build trust and teach kids that emotions aren’t something to hide from—they’re something to understand.

Turning Frustration Into Growth

Let’s talk about frustration. It’s tempting to jump in and fix things when your child struggles. But frustration is where growth lives. Whether it’s tying a shoe, finishing a puzzle, or figuring out a tough homework question, those moments of “I can’t do this!” are opportunities.

Instead of solving it for them, guide them. Break the task into smaller steps, cheer them on for trying, and celebrate the effort more than the result. By modeling patience and problem-solving, you show them how to face challenges without giving up.

To Quit or Not to Quit?

Sometimes, kids hit a wall with an activity. Do you push them through it, or do you let them step away? There’s no one-size-fits-all answer. Pushing through can teach resilience, but staying in something that causes overwhelming stress can do more harm than good.

This is where open conversations come in. Talk about what they’re feeling. Is it a temporary frustration, or does it feel like they’re hitting a dead end? Decide together if it’s time to pivot or stick it out a little longer.

Parenting is messy, but it’s in those messy moments that you teach your kids some of life’s most important lessons: how to care for themselves, face challenges, and know that no matter what, you’re in their corner.